This past Wednesday, 13 June 2012, I had to make the impossibly hard decision to let my Blackie go. In the short two weeks since my last update on his condition, he declined rapidly. He was no longer able to walk with me, he had to be coaxed to eat. He did manage the stairs every night to make it to the bed so he never had to sleep alone. And somehow last Sunday he found the strength to walk the trails with me one last time. I didn't think he was up to it but he refused to turn back. I am convinced he knew it was his last ramble, and it was a last gift to me.
Every dog, every pet, is loved. But every so often, if lucky, there is one that you have a special and remarkable connection with. I have been so blessed three times in my life. First with my Beagle, Rip, who was my childhood friend; second with my Bear whom I wrote about in March (http://ddramblings.blogspot.com/2012/03/sad-anniversary.html), and then there was Blackie.
Blackie was sweet and sensitive. He and I communicated in ways I can't explain. He trusted me with his life and he was devoted to me in return. I never thought I would lose him so soon. While he likely had the cancer for quite some time, he showed no signs until the end when it was too late to do anything - indeed it is likely there was never a point when it could have been successfully treated. He deteriorated fast but he never seemed to be in pain; he was loving and peaceful to the end. The decision to let him go was the hardest I have ever been faced with. Ultimately it was the only thing I could do for him. He relied on me to do the right thing and I know that I did. But I will miss him forever.
1 comment:
Janet, I am so very sad with you. There are no words. Those dogs, they know us and we know them. Blackie left this sphere as grateful to you as you are for him. Still my heart aches for you.
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